And back to VO

I’m once again back to doing voiceovers. After [a little more than] a year’s hiatus, I’ve decided to get back in the booth.

The reason I left was straight-up burn out. That, and the thought that I wasn’t making nearly enough money to “earn” my keep at home. My husband is currently at a job that pays him enough that I don’t have to work at all, but that doesn’t seem to matter – I’ve still been living under the belief that I need to earn my place.

I’m still working with this idea, but one thing I’ve realized is that’s all it is – an “idea”. He’s never said anything to make me think this way; never once asked me to do anything special. According to him, I may do whatever makes me happy. That’s a hell of a thing to say to someone with a “worthless” complex! What do you mean, I may do whatever I want?? How dare you give me so much freedom that all my fucked up ghosts get in my face!?

Sigh. As insane as all of this sounds; as “first world problems” this seems to be, it feels like I’m wrestling with an opponent I can’t grab. An idea has no form, except what I give it. A concept is like an invisible gnat buzzing in one’s ear, that will only vanish when you change your mind. But how do you change your mind while its buzzing!?

Forgiveness. Its always the answer, and its always the thing I avoid. Maybe that’s why my eye keeps twitching. Hm.

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